The [ED]it // Edition 003. Change

Leaving a job, gaining a new life, plus recent news, ‘one image’ and endnotes.

// Feature

Spring forward

Spring calves and their mothers shelter from the heat under a tree at Hampton Estate, Surrey.

The clocks have gone forward, there are calves and lambs in the fields, buds are beginning to blossom and the dawn chorus is starting in earnest. COVID vaccines bring us hope that we can tentatively and cautiously begin to re-emerge. Things are changing again, beginning a new cycle.

Last month, I wrote about habit. Within that edition, I noted that a little change can also be good for challenging yourself cognitively or physically, keeping you from stagnation. They say change can be as good as rest.

Well, like many of you, the last year has been anything but a rest. My life underwent a massive change. After some time building up to it I gave my three-month notice at work in early January 2020 so I could devote myself full-time to a freelance photography and writing career. You might be able to work out when I was due to leave…. That’s right, it coincided with the pandemic forcing the UK into lockdown. ‘Best laid plans,’ and all that.

I’ll be honest: in a year during which I’ve mostly managed to retain my realistic optimism, despite the many peaks and troughs, I’m really struggling at the moment. How does this play out…? I don’t want to scan the film negatives I’ve just developed because I’m worried the pictures will be crap. Same goes for processing the digital photos I’ve made in the last few weeks. I don’t write the pitch email because I’ve already decided it won’t be accepted or I won’t even get a reply. Does this feel familiar to you?

I’ve also recently experienced several bouts of professional jealousy. This is usually triggered when I see someone else’s work is so close to a project I’m working on, another completed project is similar to an idea I had, or other people get the commissions I want. I think, “how do they do that?”

To be clear, most of what I’m feeling is about me, not the other person. I’m genuinely happy for them and the work is usually very good, if not exceptional. I’m happy it is out there. These feelings are usually stoked by lamentation about not moving forward (for various reasons) with what I want to do. My wife, Alli, pointed me to a writer she follows, Jess Keating, who has addressed this topic. The most important thing is to recognize and allow your feelings, identify why you are feeling this way, and then to act. The trick is to turn jealousy into something productive and motivating. Thankfully, I have started doing that, and have gained a vital insight that I will carry forward in my work. The most important thing is to build up my resilience, put one foot in front of the other, even when I don’t feel like it, and keep going.

There are plenty of people who advocate passionately for breaking through your own inertia to make change. My friend Jack Lowe recently tweeted about the book ‘Daring Greatly’, by Brené Brown. Brown’s 20-minute TED talk on ‘The power of vulnerability’ is also worth watching, or ‘The Call to Courage’ on Netflix if you have a little longer. The writer Tanya Shadrick has a similar outlook. After a close call with death, she set out to live—really live—and pursue her dreams. The tough part for the rest of us is being able to recognise the desire within you and take the leap without that kind of huge wake-up call.

I had a lot of anxiety and stress before taking my leap into the unknown. However, I wouldn’t change it for anything. Change occurs often at the convergence of choice and chance, and the choices I’ve made, the chances I’ve taken, have led me here to the life I wanted: immersed in photography. Working on my own projects, pitching to publishers and potential new clients, looking at and studying other people’s work. Working out how to make it all into a business. It’s graft and tough at times, but I love it.

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// News

Closure Magazine Instagram takeover

I was invited to take over the Instagram account for Closure Magazine between March 15-19th. Closure is a ‘magazine’ style account run by two students of the MFA programme at UCA Farnham, Harrie Brookes and Daryl Pallas. During my takeover, I revisited some previous work as well as my ongoing project, ‘The Singing Hills.’ Here’s a link to the intro post, mine are the next five after that.

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// One image

This image from my project ‘Change at Jamaica’ was included in my Closure Magazine Instagram takeover. I made this series during the year I commuted from Brooklyn to Syosset, Long Island, always having to change trains at Jamaica Station in Queens. Jamaica Station sits at the crossroads of the commuter train route between New York City and Long Island. In a normal year, more than 300,000 people pass through every day. The conductor’s phrase "change at Jamaica" became engraved on my brain.

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// Endnotes

1. Making a change and embarking on a new career takes courage, and you need all the resources and help you can get. It’s been fantastic to be part of some like-minded groups, especially during the pandemic. I want to give a shout-out to a few publicly available resources that have helped me get to grips with everything I need to run a freelance practice:

   • Ameena Rojee’s honest and insightful newsletter ‘Notes on Freelancing’

   • LANCE, another freelancer-focused newsletter produced by Anna Codrea-Rado

   • I’m only part way through The Visual Loop ‘Trajectory’ IGTV video chat series, with Kate O’Neill and Steve Macleod, but it is already changing the way I do some things. It puts renewed focus and energy into my practice

   • Becoming a member of the AOP and NUJ has been invaluable, and the membership cost has been paid back already in the resources and discounts they provide.

2. Something a bit less practical and more mindful to help you through change: ‘Antidotes to Fear of Death’, by Rebecca Elson, via Brain Pickings.

3. Edith Hall’s book ‘Aristotle’s Way: Ten Ways Ancient Wisdom Can Change Your Life’ really helped me in the year leading up to making my career change, a year in which I was also dealing with grief. As this review states, the book is not without its more watered-down and packaged moments, but it reminded me that “the range and subtlety of his thought are almost inexpressibly thrilling”. Bonus points if you can recognize whose photograph is on the cover, I had an inkling when I picked up the book.*

4. We recently watched ‘One Night in Miami,’ a fascinating film and fictional account of the night Malcolm X, Jim Brown, Sam Cooke and Muhammad Ali came together for Ali’s World Heavyweight Championship fight against Sonny Liston. It was originally a one-room play but was translated to film extremely well. There are some excellent performances, not least Leslie Odom Jr’s portrayal of Sam Cooke and the emotional journey to the birth of the song ‘A Change is Gonna Come’. Photographers watching the film will also note Malcolm X’s passion for photography. Cooke, Ali and Brown even tease him about it and play around with Malcolm X’s Rolleiflex, which makes him (and I’m sure every photographer watching the film) very nervous. In the film’s recreation of the victory party after Ali beats Liston, Malcolm X is particularly intent on photographing that moment, which, true to life, you can see in Bob Gomel’s photographs at the Monroe Gallery (hat tip to John Edwin Mason for the link).

Thank you for reading this issue of The [ED]it. I hope you enjoyed it. Please forward this on to anyone else you think might enjoy it, and please do get in touch by leaving your thoughts in the comments or contacting me via email at edbrydon@gmail.com

Remember, it’s in the edit.

Take care,

Ed

*Cover photograph by Cig Harvey

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About me:

I am a photographer and writer available for commissions based near Farnham, Surrey, in south east England, just 45 minutes from London. I also regularly work in North Wales. 

My more recent work explores personal connections to place, the land and natural environment, how each of those, and the connections between them, are changing. 

In 2017 my ongoing project on people of North Welsh heritage in the northeast US was exhibited at Northern Eye Festival. I was subsequently awarded a commission from the Welsh Parliament in 2019 to make new work for exhibition around Wales in 2019-20. 

You can find out more on my website here.

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